Monday, December 7, 2009

The Most Hilarious Conversation ever!

This post had been there earlier on the blog, but had to be deleted, re-edited and re-posted *some technical glitch*

This is my chat with a person who was there with me in school. We hadn't had any conversation in last 5 years, and very typical of girls: this is all we could talk about!

XYZ: heyy ritu nice pic yaar *referring to my recent photograph on orkut*
Me: thnx
XYZ: lookin soooooooooooo cuteeeeeeeee
Me: how have u been? ha ha
XYZ: nahi sachi mein veerrrrrrryyyyyyy cute....
Me: okay.. thnx :)
XYZ: u finished with ur internship..????
Me: nope... will finish it in march. what abt u?
XYZ: *something*
Me: okay.. gl
abhi kaha hai?
XYZ: college mein
Me: okay.. it must be cool there
XYZ: uske baad wat plans u have...??
Me: i m taking usmle. wht r ur plans?
XYZ: any special reasons of going for usmle..???
Me: aise hi :)
XYZ: he he... any oder reasons...??? :D
Me: none... what do u wanna ask btw??? :->
XYZ: i think u got it... whatever i wanna ask..
Me: okay i m not commited yet... but someone's status has changed i see
Me: no comments on tht???
XYZ: he he
Me: oh c'mon
XYZ: yeah am seeing someone
Me: okay!! someone from ur coll?
XYZ: yeah.... not exactly... he’s done his medicine frm *a good college here*
Me: okay cool... ab thodi to details bata de
XYZ: he is done his MD in *some good branch*
Me: wow....
XYZ: nd nw u tell me more....
Me: oh... i have nothing to tell na... remember!!
XYZ: mujhse to sab kuch nikalwa liya..
Me: abe to mere paas to kuch hai hi nahi
XYZ: ab bata.......
Me: aur tune kaunsa sab bata diya...
XYZ: oh come on... am waiting..
Me: name u didnt tell.. how did u meet - u didnt tell
XYZ: name - ABC
XYZ: we met in college only.....
Me: ur coll?
XYZ: yup... he came for *something something*... he is working for *blah blah*
Me: oh cool
XYZ: nd now u tell...
Me: omg! is it necessary to have 1... i dont have a story
XYZ: u have one... tell me now
Me: i can create a fictitious fantasy if u want me too
XYZ: nooooooooooooooo...... u gonna tell me the truth!
Me: now this is the worst situation to be in... i have no story.. sorry to disappoint u.. but believe me.. i m equally disappointed
XYZ: now cmon tell me tell me
Me: :|
XYZ: chalo chuck it...
Me: thnk u so much...
XYZ: if u dnt wanna tell me....
XYZ: i dnt believe ki itni cute ladki ka kaise koi bf nahi hai....

*Yeah right! Gimme a break*

Me: ha ha ha
XYZ: koi to hai......
Me: are baba jab hoga tab sabse pehle tujhe hi bataungi...khush?
XYZ: khush..... thank u... aur jaldi kar
Me: zaroor.. lemme do my step2 first... then we'll see into all these things
XYZ: US le jaane ke liye use bhi ready kar....
Me: us ka hi dhoondege yaar... le jane ki tension hi nahi
XYZ: sahi hai.... keep going...
Me: chal yaar... ab i gtg... any plans for the future
XYZ: byee.. bad mein bataungi :D
Me: sure.. gl... bye

At the very same time, I was chatting with SFO [Had to change the name again coz’ some business-y (this word too was coined while chatting with SFO) reasons I don’t understand!]

SFO: ritu ... u a doc na? can u give me some advice?
me: bolo

*and then the whole conversation full of medicines and stuff, nothing of which will interest you. *
*the only thing that was funny in the whole conversation was when I was explaining her how 1 analgesic is better than the other one for a specific thing and they don’t have any other side-effects, when she was adamant on how ‘Crocin’ is the best for everything!*

me: it is like having a blog on wordpress instead of blogger!
SFO: hahah ... lolz .. loved that !!....
me: thts the best way i cud have convinced u :D
SFO: :D it did ..

*And then I was telling her to paste the entire conversation and mail it to her friend so that she could decide on what options she wanna adopt.*

SFO: haha .. yeah, al do that ..! ... thanks :D :)
me: u r welcome! guess what... u rem XYZ?
SFO: no.. who?
me: XYZ.... jo ....

*And then I describe her*

SFO: no .. i remember the name now .. n i think i recall something .. was this someone frm *her school* initially?
me: yep.. and then she was in my school in 11th-12th
SFO: okie! kya hua?
me: now she is seeing someone.. and she told me his details... and now she is asking me abt my bf! forcing me to tell it to her.. coz i asked her abt her bf
now what do i do!!!!
SFO: haha ... well, do u have one already? (in which case u just gotta give honest details) OR we'll create one impromptu.. this sounds like fun!
u can describe ME ( ... u like me fairly well, and am very close to a guy friend ... more than aany of ur female friends)
me: ha ha... lol
SFO: and i also have a male name already - Shruta Singh
me: lmao!!!
SFO: go ahead..tell her! haha ..
me: singh!! i won’t date a singh!

*Now I am no racist here. It was just that I wasn’t convinced of the idea yet, which you will see, changes in due course of time*

SFO: serious..:O haww...u prejudiced thing.. why wudnt u date a singh!!
me: and y r u a shruta singh?
SFO: two of my bhabhis are singhs ..and they are absolutely adorable!!
I am not A shruta Singh
I am THE shruta singh
me: lol yeah... my bad!
SFO: and singh is king remember!
haha ..
me: wohi to... i dont have prob with ladki singh
it is just the ladka singhs :D
SFO: well, i dunno of my uncles named me that once ( coz of my habits etc .. and singh has a connotation to the rajathani rajput culture ..since they keep taking digs at my
rajasthani affiliation)
and now many of my friends call me that
er,, but i dont think XYZ will like u dating a ladki singh. :D
come on .. tell her na .. u shud be proud of me ... shruta Singh jaisa partner chirag lekar dhoondo tab bhi nai milta
age - 23
works in a delhi based conglomerate in HR ..
me: wow wow
i m loving it
SFO: what else ( i cant think of any impressive details.. i am not evn like a green card holder or something )
did u tell her? or are u hiding abt me from her?
me: i want a gc a gc!! yeah
SFO: why ritu! whyyy..does shruta singh embarrass u?
ohkayy ... i do have a passport tho ( if that's a consolation)
me: ha ha
oh it is absolutely
now we can atleast go till Mauritius for a holiday
SFO: :D :D yeah .. so .. i am this extremely goodlooking, caring, sensitive, yet very MASCULINE macho kinda guy ..
me: absolutely correct...
SFO: lol .. no .. we can only go to Nepal/ Bhutan etc .. shruta singh has other singh friends there
me: with a big mooch?
SFO: girl, are u telling XYZ all this?
No no .. no mooch ( seriously?!)
a french beard ..
me: oh no.. only to nepal.. waise we can meet XYZ then.. she is in nepal
SFO: wow! ...
oh no..then we cant go to nepal ..she might fiure out that she's been conned somewhere..we'll go to bhutan
or sri lanka ..
or bangladesh .. u name it, shruta singh will take u anywhere u wish!
me: then i can also throw u in a khai and get all ur daulat! :D
SFO: Shruta Singh is that rich kya?
me: i want a rich fantasy at least
SFO: Oh yeah!! ... who else wud be able to propose to u .. by doing that "will u marry me" thing in the sky..on a jet ..
hey shruta singh is a pilot too!
me: and can u be a amriki citizen too?
SFO: tho not professionally ..he only flies his private jet when he feels like ..
told u na .. no green card ...
ritu! i seriously doubt if u want shruta singh for him or for all his wealth!
me: ohkay... if he is so rich.. he'll buy me a gc... i dont care :D
SFO: so .. u tell her abt shruta's air proposal will ya?
me: is he planning or has he already proposed?
SFO: and of course .. how u first met shruta is another story ! (Reminiscing fondly)
me: how how...
SFO: of course he has!! .. he won’t plan it and tell u silly!
who else wud be able to propose to u .. by doing that "will u marry me " thing in the sky..on a jet ..
me: will stevie wonder play at our wedding when i do the saat phere?
i won’t walk down the aisle u see

*That is Rachel’s fantasy from FRIENDS*

SFO: haha . yeah, and the ringh shruta singh gives u will "be the size of ur fist"
me: and the wedding will be on shruta singh's island
shruta SINGH gives me a RINGH!
oh i looooove it
SFO: :D :D ...
u better tell XYZ the name of the island too
me: ab yaar wo to tu bata
SFO: Shrut-Island!!
me: wah wah
SFO: d'oh! :D
me: i like the sound of the name of the island
SFO: thank u!
me: i adore it absolutely
SFO: of course u do .. that's why u cudnt say no to the proposal..
me: of course!
SFO: and u are getting married to him in 2020...
me: 2020.. nahi yaar wo to bahut door hain!
SFO: coz Shruta Singh has certain obligations towards his country ...
me: 2011 feb?
SFO: shru-island ..
me: ohkay... see i totally understand his commitments
SFO: no no.. that's the whole point.. it can be a date in the distant future .. and by the time u actually decide to get married to a real person,we can kill shruta singh in one of his island wars.. where in he died protecting his people ..
me: but thoda to uske apni gf ke baare mein bhi sochna chahiye
ohkayyyyy.. thts cool
SFO: yayie! :D
wonder if Mr. XYZ matches up to our great shruta singh?
me: i m so sorry for shruta...i was actually liking him
SFO: She will probably go back to him, all mad with envy and tell him.. mujhe aaj ke aaj hi ek island kharid ke do!!
yeah ..everybody loves shruta ..
me: Mr. XYZ is A Mr. ABC who has done *WHATEVER*
SFO: but shruta loves only you!
me: so so sweet...
SFO: yeah baby .. but he does not have an island does he?
me: i also love shruta
no way.... he just has a beach near his former college
tht is like.... small and petty
SFO: uh ... he does have a beach?
okie .. *gulp*
me: he does not own it yaar
there exists a beach near his coll.. thts it
SFO: okie ... lol .. tho wudnt XYZ believe u if u told her that u're not seeing anyone right now?
me: eh whAT?
SFO: as in .. are u seeing anyone right now?
as in .. if u're not .. cudnt u simply tell her that u're not?
me: i told her!
she didnt believe me!!!!!! :((
SFO: wahi toh main keh rahi hoon..why didn't she believe u
she thot u were ''hiding' it
me: yo... she thot i didn't wannatell her
and wanted to EXTRACT ALL her secrets out of her
SFO: lolz
whoa whoa ..
why did she spill those out in the first place ..
me: but.... i found the perfect bf i can ever ask for in the midst of telling her... haina?
SFO: haha ..
me: maybe coz she wanted to tell tht!
SFO: yeah u did !!
aw.. i am so happy for u ..
me: me too!!! :D
SFO: pity shruta has to die this way tho .. nice bloke
me: na na... he'll live
SFO: in our hearts u mean?
me: i dont wannna go cheap here
but yes thts what i meant! :)
SFO: haha ... well, u did :D
me: you are equally cheap.. i loooove u!
SFO: hey chal, i gotto go now .. got my alumni meet at 4 ...
me: chalo good..
SFO: haha .. cheaper than the cheapest trinklet they sell at the roadside :D
me: and plz convey my LOOOOOOVE to shruta
SFO: will do :)
me: cool then
SFO: and love from him too ( watch out for that writing in the air)
me: bye.. and get dressed like a girl and go
yup sure!
SFO: uff .. that was another problem.. i didnt realise itwas a semi-formal occasion ish kinds ..until people asked me what saree i was wearing! i ws just takingit as another of those parties .. and of course i am not wearing any saree ... and i dont have decent formal wear here now ..all stuff moved to loni
me: wear a suit.. u wore it for the wedding *her sister’s wedding*
SFO: so after much due deliberation i will be wearing something casual (decent) ... and a brown fur cot on top to give it a formalish look
me: okayyyy
SFO: those suits willbe too jhatak for the meet ..
me: ha ha... something less jhatak?
SFO: the funny part is ..i didnt want these ppl to rag me "why are u dressed so informally" ... so i got approval from one of my friends
me: *cough* typical *cough*
SFO: to mk sure shegets what i am going to end uplooking like, i sent her a image of our discussion .. ruk al fwd it to u ..
me: ok
SFO: and evn tho it looks verry informal right now... i guess the brown long coat will take care of it.. plus the friend under consideration thinks a levi's ka decent top is okay for such occasions. oh and black formal shoes.. those i have here and are pretty okay..
SFO: how do i look?

*Now just when I was expecting a photo of herself dressed up in formals, what I get is this:*

me: where did u keep ur head??? :O
SFO: that's assumed.. :D or maybe i'm taking a headbath right now ..
me: ha ha lol
SFO: :D or maybe al be going dressed as Nearly Headless SFO :)
me: wah wah... lemme keep the head then... the rest of headless SFO can go to the party
SFO: ah.. if only it were a fancy dress party ...pooohey .. i hope it does not end up like one of those kissing behind one's ear .. affairs .. glasses clinking, business networking .. so .. what is ur company into these days ,.,.oooh, ur hr head moved to xyz ..
i wont be able to stand exchanging cards and all that ...
me: ohkay.... see i never have been to any of the alumni meet..
SFO: it really kills all the fun ..
me: poor backward ppl - us
SFO: i have been on the other side of it in when our seniors ... or all other alumni wud come ..
me: who havent had the oppurtunity to be an alumnus of any of the instituition
SFO: arre pass out karegi toh alumni banegi na! .. mera bhi toh first hai ri ... kyun re st anne's ko institution nai maanti tu ...traitor : P :)
me: we still will be poor backward ppl anyhow
with no alumni association whatsoever
no meet there either
SFO: yaar ... b-schools mein yeh bahut zyaada isiliye hota hai ..coz these networks are essential for running a good b-school, industry contacts.. for placing ur future batches ... etc etc ..
me: yeah yeah.. i get tht
SFO: as in ur alumni go on to occupy imp. Positions in the industry,..and then u use them to build and maintain ur college brand .. evn my grad college is not very HIGH on alumni association.. Renuions do take place tho.. they cud do a better job ..
chal will take ur leave now .. and will catch up soon..
do tell arps abt my new jiju Shruta Singh .. :D
me: okay.. sure.. i was actually thinking of pasting it on the blog
my most interesting conversation in yrs
SFO: lolz .. yeah that'll be fun!
me: and btw... when u send this conversation to
remove my love story from it
i dont wanna make it public... shruta's fans all over the world might not like it!
SFO: i will :)
:D :D
me: chalo enjoy
have fun
SFO: bye bye :)
me: and ur dress was good.. as far as i think
SFO: thank u! ... i will kill the rest if they all land up in sarees ..
chal gtg now ..bbye! :)

So now I have a new boyfriend, Shruta Singh. Courtsey: SFO!
*I have worked real hard on formatting it and deleting the things that can help you identify ABC and XYZ. XYZ, in case you are reading this: just enjoy the bit by SFO – I had no intention of making fun of you, which I think, I haven’t!*

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